Why, oh why?

Despite the fact that I like torturing myself, why am I doing this? Why am I struggling to become vegan and an 'athlete'. Let me tell you. I'm pissed off. I'm SICK AND TIRED. No. You don't understand. I'm almost to the point of being livid about it. I want to end all of my dis-ease. This is the year that I'm ending all of my health problems. Obesity, fatigue, lethargy, etc. will all be gone by 2010.

I don't know if people realize this, but big girls have dreams to. I always (day)dream about being a dancer, martial arts fighter, runner, etc., but never do it! So, my latest wish/dream is to compete in a triathlete before I die. I want to run a marathon when I'm 20. I want it so bad. I think about being 50 still being in the state I'm in now and it makes me sick. Literally, my stomach starts to turn a little. I want to be fit. I want to be healthy.

I'm really Really REALLY tired of this struggle with my weight. I don't know if you can relate, but being obese is all I know. I don't know what it is like to run and not be tired. I don't know what it is like to shop in a section other than the plus sizes. I don't know what it is like to have a semi-flat stomach. I don't know what it is like to be healthy. All of these things are foreign to me.

THIS YEAR WILL BE THE END.....

I guarantee you.

Love,

Leira Violet